Today’s Neo-Victorian Feminists

Could today’s Feminists be any more Victorian? Swooning onto their fainting couches, they concoct fantasy after fantasy of being ravished by big, bad, strong – irresistible – Republicans. With pounding hearts and moist loins, they beat their tiny fists helplessly against their attackers’ rock-hard chests, but to no avail. They are taken, good and hard, but against their will, of course! No properly raised, respectable feminist would ever give herself willingly to one of those cruel, heartless, (manly, hot) men of the right.

I think we all know what’s going on here. No one has worked harder than the feminist to discourage and destroy manliness in our culture, and understandably, no real man will have anything to do with her. Sure, she has Pajama Boy in her bed, but he just isn’t doing it for her. Why doesn’t that chiseled, masculine, maddeningly aloof man over there want her? By the goddess, he will want her!


We women on the right love being women. More than that, we love being feminine women (when the mood strikes us). And we love men – big, stinky, strong, decisive, hot, Republican men.

Feminists see our men and they are envious. Sure, they want to be she-queen rulers of the world and force men to hand over their nuts, but they also secretly want real men to desire them. Unrequited lust has been the catalyst for many an unfair legal action throughout history, and today’s “rape culture” witch hunts are no exception. “If I can’t have you, no one can!” feminists fume within their subconscious minds. And so they not only deny themselves the pleasure of a real man in their beds, they attempt to destroy the happiness of couples who embrace a “patriarchal” (aka super-sexy-satisfying) relationship.

From Lena Dunham’s fantasy lover, Barry, to Sabrina Rubin Erdely and “Jackie’s” UVA Frat Boy Varsity Rape Team, the detailed, hysterical accounts of compulsive Republican lovemaking are both vindictive and titillating … but they are also untrue. Time to call this faux-rape reporting trend what it actually is: fanfic. And that is just so sad.

5 comments for “Today’s Neo-Victorian Feminists

  1. Regina Norman
    December 6, 2014 at 3:16 pm

    I think the psychosis goes even further. After reading about Lena and her sister’s activities while still children, I think it’s clear that something did happen to them. My guess is that an adult did molest, interfere, and steal their childhood. (I don’t know any other toddlers who stuff their vagina full of rocks. If she didn’t do it, then who did?) These women want to talk about the abuse, but can’t say who is truly responsible for their pain because they are the exact people they identify with and want to protect. Instead they create a boogeyman who is a composite of all their prejudices and hatred. Stockholm Syndrome meets To Kill a Mockingbird.

  2. margot
    December 7, 2014 at 3:23 am

    These are the same tactics as used by desperate teenagers– when all else has failed in bringing down the nasties on a hated foe. For years I’d had this delusion that people magically grow out of this sort of thing. Hyaaaah, HA! They just erect a bigger stage for the same juvenile games. Is it just me, or does this smack of desperation?

  3. Beau Tachs
    May 27, 2015 at 10:50 pm

    Ms. Always Right- you are spot on with your assessment of LD’s father being the prep. I saw that when I saw the first painting….Wow